At the break of dawn I got up and got ready to go to British Columbia’s oldest hospital, St. Paul’s Hospital. I took Translink as my commute, it was quite relaxing. Once I got off the skytrain I didn’t know which direction to walk in, so i asked the 24 hour newspaper guy to give me directions. So there I am walking in the core of downtown in the dark; I walked at least eight blocks and I started to wonder where this place is. Thankfully I found a sign that had the capital H and followed it to the hospital entrance. Once I entered the doors of the hospital with my fashionable scrubs on I heard the blow horn signalling me that this is the beginning of my journey as a nurse. There is no turning back. I walked down the hall with anxiety and uncertainty pulling me back out the door but had excitement and pure adrenalin pulling me further down the hall with greater force. So there I was with a nervous smirk on my face but I kept walking.
A piece of equipment I found very interesting was the internal tube system. How it works is a nurse sends a tube with certain medications, equipment or paperwork to a specific unit by punching in a code and the tube is suctioned to the unit. It reminded me of something in a scifi movie. It was so cool.
We went to so many different units and met a few nurses. One thing that stuck out to me was this one nurse was so mechanical by having to do so many things and then the next minute when he was with a patient he became human again. I've always heard nursing is a draining career but i finally saw it.
Overall, the hospital tour has opened my eyes to parts of the hospital I had never seen. Also it aided me in being able to connect and correlate what I learn in books and practical to the working field. Last but not least, the tour has given me the ability to become more self -aware and self knowledgeable of what I need to do personally at an emotional and physical level to be able to provide adequate care.
Today i met the most inspiring women! All potrayed the utmost strength. Strength that came after oppression. This strength is the strength that lasts forever. Yes, it is unfortunate that sometimes the inner power within us comes only after great sufferage but when it does it comes full on.
There was a forum today at school on South Asian women on Violence: Resisting and Speaking out. And there were 2 women who rose out of oppression and finally spoke out, thier main goal being to carve out a path for us young women to follow along and walk with them. To believe that we can stand straight and that we must reach our full potentials. I sat there listening and crying not out of feeling sorry for Vicki Waters or Gurjeet Ghuman but the pride and privalege i felt of having these strong women speak in front of me. I was there celebrating their accomplishments and that of many other women.
One of the things that was said by Sunera Thobani that has stuck with me is that "i did not learn to be a feminist from a white woman". And that makes so much sense. I learned to be a feminist by my own surroundings and experiences-from the experience of being first generation Indo-Canadian! People of my own culture may say that my thoughts are western but i would say that no my thoughts come from questioning. Questioning both cultures, because i am both cultures. However the bigger question is who defines what is western or south asian? Who defines me as culturally different?
Well I am back to blogging. (it sorta kinda has turned into a personal diary). Anyways I am back in school and it is going ok. I am taking this class the sociology of family and it is pretty good. So far it seems like the obvious stuff (stereotypical stuff) but I took this class for a way for not just me but my classmates and maybe teacher to challenge the traditional more nuclear ways of finding a mate and creating a family. Because alot more people find the more modern ways more favourble. I would say I am alot more traditional with my views on the family and sometimes people may find that narrow minded or oldschool. But families are a very personal institute of society and i want to stay traditional I feel it is more stable (personally). The class will be interesting hopefully there will be alot of back and forth dialogue.
Hawa! Don't think i forgot you. How is Uganda? The place, the food, the people espeacially the youth. I wanna know. keep me posted.
I am also challenging the rest of the gogirls to start their blogging by next year. I am giving you women alot of time so better get to it.
On my quest of finding a space for myself and my sister to reside I hit upon an interesting predicament. The “white voice” I’ve perfected over the telephone only seems to go so far before the color of my skin and gender begins to raise some pertinent questions to the owner of the house interested in leasing or renting the bottom half of their suites. And therein lies the problem. The search for a place is much more difficult because the glass ceiling that says I should still be living in Surrey exists. Its an unfriendly existence. I throw jagged rocks at it and persist in trying to decimate it with my ineffectual fists. The results are lengthy exaggerated attempts to belittle me and question me about my job, my volunteering and my life. I can guarantee rent every month, so why is there a problem? There seems to be little cooperation in that regard and all those preppy Yale towners who are “settling” for Main irritate my soul. They look as if they can afford it, but then again so do I. But the subtle stereotyping of the color of my skin belies any actual information. Because I exist as a black female (despite my professional sounding job title and persistent community involvement, which on a side note is as disgraceful as I am, noting the racialized and aboriginal girls it caters to) Might I add that the preppy yale towners who I should notably refer to as the white girls, think they are in the minority despite the fact that they overwhelming reside in the places where if wishes were reality I would be living. Not because of any preconceived notion that is the glass ceiling I should be reaching but because of its damned convenience to the places I work! So. Despite higher than average working environments, workaholic behavior patterns a sweet demeanour and friendliness towards neighbours, I am not a suitable candidate for a place that looks to be above my financial constrictions.
Life is a beautiful wondrous, extremely frusturating thing.
On a lighter note, a weekend away from the city. How great!
The weather is driving me crazy. I am so sick i bearly slept last night and i'm really really tired. When is the SUN coming out?
Well i dont really have anything else to rant about.
O new episodes of Gossip Girls is coming back. Hawa I don't know if you are going to watch it but i surely will be deconstructing every scene. It will be filled with stereotypes and gender distinctions and stratification. Get your Bitch Cap on. LOL
Love Ya All
XOXO
I really need someone right now. I just went through the most embarrassing moment of my life. It's not the usual stupid funny embarrassing i mean i am scared for life embarrassing. We were having a debate in my sociology class and my group nominated me to speak. And i told them so many times that i don't want to do it and they made me because no one else was volunteering. So i went up right wen i got up there my stomach was turning, i felt like barfing, i was sweating like it's 40 degrees out, i was shaking and i could not think straight. I was so scared and so nervous. I said one line and i just stared at the class. I couldn't do it i just couldn't. I just went back to my seat and another girl from my group went up. I feel so stupid. I let my group down and most importantly myself. I couldn't bare staying till the end of class. I felt like I was no in a safe place. And now I finally came to the conclusion of why i didn't like the atmosphere of that class. IT WAS NOT A SAFE SPACE. I never felt fully confident in that class. My weakness of the English language got in the way. Everyone in class uses such strong, intellectual language i felt inferior. I always felt little because i couldn't get my points/views across because of language. Today i truly felt racialized. Today i truly felt dumb. Today i truly felt ashamed. Today I truly realize how important a safe space is.
I just really need the GGs right now.
In my sociology class of pop culture we have been talking about ideologies being imposed on consumers through various systems (commercials, print ads, books, movies...) . It is like where ever we go we are being manipulated into believing or even not believing into something. And it is so bizarre that we put so much meaning into something as simple as an ambiguous symbol. Or is it that the producers are implanting the meaning in us? This whole concept is so confusing. So what really are brands? Is it a simple product, a symbol, or a solution to our problems, the little push we need to raise our confidence, the dreams we want to reach. Are they a symbol or a manipulative message? Is there a way of escaping any form of branding? Because if we do try to escape branding we are still being affected and influenced by it.
